D3 body, D1 cock
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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