That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
