Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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