I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
