ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
