dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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