Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
