Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
