Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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