smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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