Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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