I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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