planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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