I hate your face
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
