These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
