We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
