Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
