i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
