well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
