his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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