Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
