yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
