I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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