When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
