with your own penis?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
