Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
