you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
