Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have fence marks all over my body
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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