And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
