Can Purell be used as lube?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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