erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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