She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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