I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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