You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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