Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
