dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cockslap morals
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
