i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
