I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
