Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
