i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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