We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
