I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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