just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
