I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
its liver damage thursday
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
