Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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