This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
