Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
