I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
