Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
