jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
